Printer Lady

If only Lyle Lovett would change the lyrics to “Record Lady” in honor of a famous courtroom drama that’s going on right now….

I couldn’t resist the temptation to Randy Rainbow this song, but because it might be too close of a copyright violation, I’ve added asterisks for every original syllable. Sorry, Mr. Lovett, but thank you.

PRINTER LADY

Kind of by Lyle Lovett

Todd Blanch *****
********** best interest
***Donny J. ***** action
Get *****
********* boy
* hanging ******
Get out ****
* use this stack of papers as a trial prop
* said a trial prop
But Todd, sir, I don’t need no records
Todd just smiled ***
What you need **
Printer Lady
Printer Lady
** the cutest little cartridge
* you’ve ** seen
* a pornographic dream

*** waste no time ***
I put on my ***
I *** old rocking chair
And I left them hell on ***
*** down to the Best Buy shop
*** I do
She * five-foot-one-and-***
* she claimed ** five-foot-two
** looked at me with her big **
*** can I help you print something
*** you got on special

Printer Lady
Printer Lady
** the cutest little cartridge
** ever seen
* a pornographic dream

** very sophisticated
* began to browse **
**** the printer lady
*** I sure do like ****
*** so beautiful
* come ****
* could run down to ***
* maybe even gay **
****** her big green *
*** can I help you print **
*** you got on special

Printer Lady
Printer Lady
** the cutest little cartridge
** ever seen
* a pornographic dream
* pornographic *
**** I will see
* pornographic fantasy
* sweet fulfillment *** detail
Down * Mar-a-Lago
** somewhere else
Just her * me ***
* whole day *
Her * me together
Printing MAGA headlines all night long

She’s the Printer Lady
Printer Lady
Printer Lady from the Best Buy shop
Set it printing mama
Don’t ever stop my
Printer Lady
Printer Lady