Frosty the Hormone

Mary L. Holden
2 min readDec 7, 2022

…comes to life and then turns off, but sing it to the tune of “Frosty the Snowman” (I dare you with all the frost and gray hair in my being)

By Ed Uthman from Houston, TX, USA — Estrogen receptor (+), CC BY-SA 2.0,

Frosty the Hormone
Is biology they say
It is made by gland, and all women know
How she squirts herself to play.

There must have been some magic
’cause God’s reasoning was sound
for when that hormone reaches heads
women bitch and rage around.

Oh, Frosty the Hormone
was as cold as she could be
all the children say she will bring dismay
to all men plus you and me.

Frosty the Hormone
had no jolly happy soul
’cause its DNA and its RNA
on all women takes a toll.

Frosty the Hormone
oh biology they say
is made by gland
until girls turn old and gray.

There must have been some magic
’cause God’s reasoning is sound
but when that hormone reaches brains
women bitch and rage around.

Frosty the Hormone
can give hot flashes all day
so she said, “Let’s stun, gripe, and get undone
now before I fade away.”

Frosty the Hormone
had to hurry on her way
so she waved good-bye, saying, “Go ahead and cry
’cause I’ll make your daughters pay!”

NOTE: “Frosty the Snowman,” was written by Walter “Jack” Rollins and Steve Nelson in 1950. If Frosty were a female, she’d be long past menopause by now. Here, for your listening pleasure, is the “real” rendition:

Mary L. Holden

A constantly evaporating editor and writer. Believer in medium since 2013 when they made me wait for an invitation….